quiet thoughts

All thoughts are physical – this is an obvious direct consequence of physicality of all existence, unthoughtof, yet the reality that thoughts are not original, appearing out of nowhere, self generating but derivative of a number of physical processes and circumstances, an equation of brain’s structure, life’s experiences, sensitivity to outward stimuli, dna, maybe even atmosphere, climate, air humidity, organism’s chemical & drug mixture at a moment, is… well, quite astounding. Fact.
Consciousness is a consequence, not the cause of matter negotiating towards harmony and order, and this statement is an ultimate logical evidence that the original cause cannot be conscious, only matter is..

..as it evolves and gets more complex — consciousness is only a tool used to organize matter, which we are, and as we get more self aware, we are able to consciously transform our environment into more complex forms– consciousness has also evolved –
from inorganic matter in the nebulae of galactic stardust, chaotic particle collisions in the Higgs field, to rocks, to subtly waking plant life, first single cell organisms responding to sunlight, grouping together to form more complex organic animals, now walking the earth and as we get more complex and more organized, their brain size gets larger and here we are, a highly organized, highly complex matter that’s more self conscious than ever! Fact.
Toil is the essence of existence, and pain is a part of it. I want pain in my life, and resistance, and I want to feel it in all its spectrum. In those moments I see reality as it is in its bare essence, and it’s beautiful.

I see each and every human being as something impossible, a miracle that took place on its own through billions of years of grassroots steady toil and pain. I look at my own body in such amazement all the time. We owe so much to this process that brought us the first single cell organisms which we find in our bodies, and I thank every cell of my body for bringing me into life. My body rests on the shoulders of giants, that could not be made possible by any single god. Nothing in this universe takes place from the top to bottom, it takes the bottom-to-top arduous path, stretched through space time. A god could destroy this process at any point in time, and make us impossible. Fact.
Every day is a new day. Yes, a simple fact.

It is an early morning, and I just woke up from a restful sleep, and for the moment as coffee’s brewing, I don’t remember anything about yesterday and the days before that. Those are the little moments in which reality is the most clear, the most transparent. There is nothing but the blue sky, and me. Oh pure joy, pure silence of being. It is an un-predetermined, unplanned, unexpected day but one that woke up within expected patterns of the sun rising and setting. Those patterns we see around us are everywhere, they are safety locks that balance the freedom of unexpected being. The patterns repeated in the tapestry of life, the fractal patterns in the trees, in the blood veins, in the river systems. They also brought me here to this moment through billions of years of consequences and fractal divisions. That’s one huge consequence of a world without a deity where he / she would determine events from start to finish, giving us no freedom of choice, writing our destiny for us. In the actual reality, I dont know what will happen in the next moment, whether a cloud passes by or a family of ducks swims by in a nearby creek, or a mailman comes knocking on my door delivering bad or good news. I simply don’t know, and it’s good not to know. No one can know. It is a simplest fact that doesn’t require any evidence.

It can be extremely difficult to live such life in the beginning, not knowing what life brings tomorrow, accepting this chaotic reality with no fear. It is really challenging, testing your boundaries at every moment. I panic. Often.

But then comes the locksmith, who anchors the uncertainty in the predictable patterns of the universe.

The stars are far away enough not to cause us any harm, the sun is located at a safe enough distance to protect us against the harmful radiation, the night is followed by morning each day, after rain comes sunshine, after winter comes spring, after spring comes summer, after summer comes autumn, and after autumn comes winter. Everything is well again. After one breath comes another breath, followed by another breath. I feel calm again.

So nothing is planned, but ordered in predictable patterns that shield against chaos.

When galaxies form, and then solar systems with planets, imagine as if you threw a fist full of sand around, and decided where each sand granule lands. The amazing toil of it! That in essence is the creationist point of view, it is the invisible hand of a god who knows precisely where every speck of dust is located in the universe, planned from start to finish. The atheist point of view knows that it is illogical and absurd. Life on earth was never planned. A life on a planet, yes, and many other planets, within the frame of chemical make up of materia. Life evolves according to the physical principles of the universe, on more planets than only ours but life as such is a natural consequence, a natural pattern that follows consequences that came before. It is a free unplanned life left to its own evolutionary process, in harmony with physical laws and patterns of the universe that evolved earlier from other prerequisite patterns and consequences. It is a consequential linked universe, starting from breaking of the perfect supersymmetry in the Higgs field, where tiny virtual particles billions of times smaller than us tipped the scales of reality, and started an unending chain reaction of consequences that continue in the ever expanding universe.
I am alone, as much as I am new, I never happened before and I never will again. Fact. This is the ultimate freedom. The consequences of events that brought me here- my parents, my grandparents, my distant ancestors, first hominids, first living cells, the “big bang”, were all linked but separate, not conscious of their origin or destination.

Do I know why I am here, alive? No, I don’t. Fact. And neither does the rest of all existence, and none of the events and consequences are aware of their origin or purpose. It is a simple fact that I can accept- I do not know where I came from, and why I am here. If existence were aware and possessed this knowledge, then there’d be a God. But there is no awareness of the path all existence takes, so logically there is no God.

The answer to the eternal question what is the purpose of it all is pretty simple really. We are here due to the consequences of events that took place before us, and this is it. Remove those prerequisite events, and there would be no life on earth. The possibility of life on earth is so miniscule that it almost didn’t take place and it was destroyed completely so many times, reason also why it is so rare in the empty vacuum of space. So, the universe says no constantly, as if it didn’t care, because it cannot care, it doesn’t know! It is not aware of its own existence. There’s a deafening silence instead.
It would make more sense if life was abundant everywhere we look, the universe would be booming with life on thousands of planets, more than only one in our solar system. It would be saying yes to our wishes for afterlife after life after life, filling the vacuum with angelic beings, paradises, the smiling face of a good God, bringing us always good fortune, and never death. But no, the universe is quiet, empty and cold and it constantly says no, but mostly it says nothing, not a word. Fact? Objective reality staring you in the face each and every day.
If you look at our sun from our planet’s point of view, it is a friendly warm shimmering yellow globe. We love to watch the sunrises and the sunsets, we photograph them from almost every point on earth. But, remove the atmospherical bubble which causes the fantastic effects, and the sun is an unfriendly self consuming white ball of fire. We no longer see any other colors on its surface when observed from the space, it is now a starkly white globular space surrounded by dark vacuum. It is no longer our sun, it is now a star like so many others in the universe. It doesn’t know about our existence, about planet earth, and it doesn’t care that it coincidentally gives life to carbon on our planet. The star called the sun doesn’t know its origin, nor purpose. Our life is a consequence of the sun’s existence, but it is removed from its cause far enough for there not be a purposeful link or premeditated design.
Fact. Fact. Fact.

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