five star restaurant, the bar
barista/ waitress : neurotypical female
the bar is full, two married couples enjoying their dinner, joined by a third couple and a man with a receipt for take out a few minutes later
the barista stands with her back to everybody, at the register
and doesn’t notice the new couple leafing through menus that lay strewn like napkins;
i sit down fairly far distance from everyone, and go through the familiar yet gourmet meals at skyrocketing prices
the new couple are staring at the barista willing her to notice them
the standing man extends his neck as if the distance shortened her task
i go through my phone having made my choice: mushroom soup, i know these mushrooms were hand picked and imported from Poland;
the waitress turns around and notices me right behind her, she smiles and takes my order, walking away to the kitchen
i feel the fuming tension looks from the rest, and the couple next to me also joining the waiting game for their bill
the waitress returns with my soup, and a basket of choice fresh baked bread and butter, and then she returns to the register and her task..
the new couple decides to break the silence, asking: ‘can we please be served?’
the waitress gives them a quick look and returns to her task, as the couple resign themselves to studying the beauty of the menu, and looking at other waiters flying by with steaming dishes, swiftly serving the filled tables in three salons;
the mushroom soup is so good i can hear Polonaise in my head, my mind shuffles through the best Polish literature moments, especially “Pan Tadeusz” hunting scenes by Adam Mickiewicz, then all the moments my mom and i spent mushroom picking in our nearby forest..
it’s so good i barely notice the man with the take out has been already taken care of, and the new couple still waiting..
i don’t remember what happened to the couple, i wasn’t paying attention anymore, transported back to Poland’s forests, and my childhood memories
situation 1 is what really took place
situation 2 is an alternate version of the same event, except the barista is different
five star restaurant, the bar
barista / waitress: autistic, aspiette, an empath female
‘the bar is filling soooo quickly, i have to check if the married couple enjoys their meal, ill take a quick look while calculating the bills, and entering orders for the kitchen..
oh, i see a single lady has joined the bar, ill give her a minute to make friends with our impressive menu… i hear a new couple just sat down, i turn to them smiling and pointing them to our menus strewn everywhere on the wide counter;
okay, ive got a moment to ask the young lady if she made her choice… mushroom soup, it should not take long as the soups are ready cooked.. i walk fast to the kitchen and hand the order bill to Peter, he fills the bowl, and i deliver it to her smiling;
i take a good look at the bar scene, acknowledge everyone, including the man who just walked up with a takeout order, the married couple waiting for the bill, and the new couple has obviously made their choices..’
five star restaurant, the bar
barista/ waitress: predatory neurotype, female
‘grand, this is my play field today where i have mostly starving customers in my power..
i’ll Make them wait this Friday evening as long as i possibly can, while i play with the register, the bills, receipts and my pen, paper and calculator..
let them admire my tushy.. make them stare at me as i am the master of the bar like an orchestra player standing with my back to the audience..
this lady who just sat down grabbing the menu, how dare she without asking.. i’ll bring her tomatoe soup instead..
back to my register, now that there is more people sitting down, and waiting.. all eyes on me.. ill make them wait five minutes more drinking in the impatience, irritation, frustration and building anger..’
Three alternate versions of the same situation.
In the first true version, the neurotypical waitress is clearly overwhelmed with her new job at the newly opened five star restaurant, still learning the register.
She does her job in a fairly timely fashion, the customers are being served one at a time, in spacious intervals in- between her operating the register, which seems to be the center of her focus. She does not notice a few new customers joining the bar, and fails to acknowledge their presence with a smile, a nod or ‘hello’. As she works the register, she does not think about the particular needs of the two couples, the single lady and the older man with the takeout order. She does not ‘see’ what happens behind her back. None of the feelings of being neglected, and unacknowledged by her register in her mind.
In the second version, the empathic (in this scenario an aspie) barista makes the customers’ needs her central focus. She fluidly multitasks learning the register, paying attention to constantly changing bar scene behind her, and her relations with the cooks and other waiters coming in and out of the kitchen. She has multiple focus lines open at the same time, judging the time priority of each at any time, making quick decisions, not wasting a single minute. She senses the needs and expectations of her customers, and interacts with them by smiling, nodding and saying ‘hello’.
If she is a standard empath, she will involve herself in lengthier chats with them, or gratuitous phrases that match the standards of the five star joint, working the brand image at the same time. A raise, anyone?
If she is an autistic empath, she will be quietly doing her job, in the same efficient way, and mostly smiling, avoiding to make eye contact and being noticed, yet making sure everyone is taken care of.
If she is an aspie, this will be a combination of the two above.
In the third version, the predatory (neurotype) waitress will make herself the central focus of her bar scene, in a variety of ways, depending what type of a predator she is, and how the day evolves. She is aware of everything behind her back, and she takes advantage of the fact that the people who sit at the bar are either very hungry or thirsty.
A predatory person fuels on mostly negative emotional charge, and there is plenty of it at the bar, where fast service is of value.
Three versions of human behavior. Fair behavior. Good behavior. And bad behavior.
The behavioral analysis is not sufficient, because it can never be entirely objective, and complete. This is why a neurodivergent analysis is necessary.
The three women represent three different neurotypes: the neurotypical, the autistic, and the predatory (or narcissistic in DSM terms). They also elegantly portray the evolution of human mind, or rather human emotions.
The predatory neurotype exhibits solely negative emotions, and an absence of positive emotions, reflected in her behavior.
The neurotypical female exhibits both negative and positive emotions.
The empathic/ autistic female exhibits only positive emotions in a degree that is clear in her proactive, conscious behavior.
This emotional scale translates into behavior, producing intensive negative behavior and an absence of positive behavior, a sporadic positive behavior with an absence of behavior, and a visibly intensive positive behavior.
If you look under the microscope, the neurological differences between these three brains manifest in the presence of mirror neurons in the NT* and AUT*/EMP* neurotypes, and an absence of mirror neurons in addition to the absence of positive emotions in the PRD* neurotype.
The NT female (low mirror neurons) does not ‘register’ the emotional meta data flowing from the people around her. Her mirror neurons turn on only in a situation when she faces her customer directly, which exhibits in her smile, followed by kind words and actions (serving the customer).
The AUT/EMP female (high mirror neurons) doesn’t need to face her customers to register their emotional meta data.
The PRD female (no mirror neurons) is preoccupied with filling her need for emotional energy (both negative and positive), completely ‘blind’ to the actual emotional meta data from her customers, which is followed by an absence of positive behavior.